Saturday, January 26, 2013

Hansel and Gretel Movie Review: Just Somewhat Badass

If you've ever been told fairy tails as a kid then it's likely you've already heard of Hansel and Gretel's story.

Once upon a time they were left lost in the woods and while trying to find their way back they see a house made out of candy. They begin to happily eat but would then soon discover that it was actually owned by a cruel witch who happens to eat kids like them. The witch  then fattened Hansel up with treats. But when she was about to roast him alive, Hansel and Gretel worked together to push the witch into the fire, and they lived happily ever after.

But wait, that can't be right, how could that be a happy ending? There's so many unanswered questions! Why did their father leave them in the forest? Would they ever find their way back? What would their profession be when they they grow up, I mean they had to earn a living right? So, what happens to them next?

Okay, if you've read up to this point then you can tell I'm no longer talking about the original Hansel and Gretel recorded by Brother's Grimm, but the very latest one where Hansel and Gretel grow up to do what they do best (and are very much well known in the world of fairy tales for), kicking witch butt.

Now, I thought it was a particularly cool concept, and the poster with Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton holding weaponry looked downright kick-ass. Also, with the popularity of twisted fairy tales like Fables and Once Upon a Time, it's not odd that there would be an influx of movies with this genre. Like Snow white and the Huntsman, Hansel and Gretel was just begging to be adapted into a live action flick. 

So I was able to see the R-version-- and I understand. There was blood, gore, and about a dozen different ways to disembody someone. The witches looked horrendous, you'll get startled, and you'll find yourself maybe wanting to look away sometimes. Nothing actually out of the ordinary with this kind of flick, though maybe going in, I didn't expect to see that much. It's like one bloody encounter after another, and actions scenes that were nothing new, which generally makes it easily forgettable. Oh, and there's a tiny bit of nudity, which I presume would be edited out of the PG-13 version (don't worry, it doesn't have much of an effect either way, lol). 

Now I thought they had a really good plot to begin with, but not much story and character development. I thought they could have expounded more on the lore involving the 12 children and the Blood Moon, or they could have made the ritual scene less pathetic. I mean, nothing happened, and they resorted with giving a good witch a gatling gun to proceed with a bloody massacre! Also, even when life-changing information was already being revealed, like about their past and parents, or the truth about good and bad witches, I didn't feel it had much of an impact on Hansel and Gretel, like as much it should have. But well, it was fun to be able to infer and put two and two together in the process, and it was nice that the story was able to come full circle in the end. No questions left unanswered.

Overall, it was a so-so movie. Not a movie that you shouldn't miss or anything like that, but I wasn't bored either. Lots of action, toned down drama, and maybe a few unneeded characters. And yeah, the script was pretty weak and unmemorable, but every now and then they do get badass lines. 

60% - Has little impact but still pretty entertaining. Okay. Not original. Predicatable story-line.

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